So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
