he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
