The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
