did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
