Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
