At least make sure they are 18
Why
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
