No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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