why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
