I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
