It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
he wants to bone in the snuggie
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
