Where did you get a picture of my penis
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
