What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I could have mohawked her pubes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
