you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
