these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
you didnt know i had herpes?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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