why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize