What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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