I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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