my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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