mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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