I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
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