I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
