hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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