he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
