ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
