youre lurking in front of me
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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