You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
