First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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