I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
