Only a mothe r could love this liver
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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