when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
