Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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