Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
