yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
