gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
