i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she peed on how many people?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
