dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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