Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
