Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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