So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Im just a social blackout drinker.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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