he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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