he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
