Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
