Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
