nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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