He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
