in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
