And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
