I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
