so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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