An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So many bounce houses so little time
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
