I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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