you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
