P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
40s are totally the cure
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
We are all done wearing pants today
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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