What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
