There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
you never un-have a 4some
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
