Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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