I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
