the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
