Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
