It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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