There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
