it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
