You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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