I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
