dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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