How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
