He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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