Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
