If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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