For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
they call him Oral-B. enough said
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
