I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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